Hello blog world ! I used to have a blog but I never would post anything so I have created another one in which I plan to update quite often, everyday if possible. I want to post, of course, things I experience throughout my life, but, also, I would like to make this blog a positive place where I hope to uplift spirits. I may not be perfect but I strive for perfection. So... PLEASE bear with me :).
I tell you guys, I couldn't have created this blog at a better time. I recently experienced what every person will or has experienced once in his/her lifetime. A SERIOUS BREAKUP. However, less tears were shed than I thought would have. I think this is because I already prepared for this and it is exactly what I wanted and have been wanting for a very long time. I have a question. Have you ever been "stuck" somewhere only because you didn't know exactly how to leave ? I know that question may not be asked correctly but I hope you all get my drift. I was in a relationship with a man for almost four years. We have been through ALOT of things together. We had our share of ups and of course, downs. I fell in love with him at a very young age. So of course you know what that means, I was VERY NAIVE. I was sixteen years old and he was nineteen so I thought I had won a prize. I was too young to realize that I wasn't the one whom had the prize but it was him who was the winner. I didn't quite know my self worth. I allowed him to manipulate me in a way I believed was love. Silly me. I dissed so many friends and most importantly, FAMILY. I moved out my senior year of high school. It was one of the WORST mistakes of my life. And even though it was a mistake, I don't regret it because I learned my lesson. When I first had the notion of moving out, I pictured it so much different than the reality. I thought it would be fun. I could play the homebody, housewife, lover and superwoman. I figured he would play his role of husband, working man, financial provider, lover and friend. But boy was I in for a rude awakening. Don't get me wrong. For the first couple of months, it was lovely. He went to work and provided for me like a man should. But I knew my "fairytale" was too good to be true. It wasn't long before my picture of pure heaven, turned into hell. I allowed a man whom I thought loved me unconditionally, misuse and abuse me. I had done things I am NOT proud of just to please him. And even though it put a smile on his face, it was burning into my soul. All of the extra women and late night creeping didn't phase me, even though it should have. It took me about two years after that to finally say, I've been disrespected too many times and for way too long and I'm done with this. I have finally discovered my self worth. Although my epiphany seemed so sure, it was still hard to get out of the "relationship". I will admit, after four years, even if it's love or simply lust, you grow fond feelings that's hard to just walk away from. Luckily for me, he had developed such an asshole mentality that it not only made leaving him alone easy, but also fun and rewarding. So, I left the ball and chain for good and my mind and heart are both at ease. I feel SOOOO GOOOD ! Even though the 'good in me' wants to say I wish him the best, the 'reality in me' says I really don't care. At this point in time, I don't think he deserves it. You may think that is such a horrible thing to say but hey, 'it be like that sometimes'. So, let my experience be a lesson for you. Never sell yourself short and settle for less. Know your worth and if you are going to engage in a relationship, make sure they know your worth as well. As of right now, I'm not looking for someone. I do plan on getting to know someone new in the future but right now, I'm living in the present and I am pleased.
